would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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