Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
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Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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