Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
