I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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