wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
