don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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