I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He felt like a one man threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Randomize
