i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How does one acquire holy water?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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