Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
