But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
