He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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