i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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