i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
