well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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