Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
