Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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