I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
