I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
