Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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