is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
