At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
