just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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