I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
