He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
