Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
