you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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