So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
