Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
