he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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