Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize