these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
