There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
