Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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