Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize