I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
