we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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