There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
