even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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