the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
