They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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