remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
