When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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