why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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