Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
