Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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