she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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