I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
