Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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