even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
