NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
