what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
