I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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