Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize