Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
