Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize