dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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