Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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