I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
