he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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