i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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