She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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