tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
