Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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